Hi my name is Naomi and I am in my 3rd year studying BSc Adult Nursing at BCU.
Thank you for visiting my blog. I love to write. I love to connect with people through articulation. our words are the only thing we truly own and how we use them can build bridges or start wars. Our words define us, they shape others and they are our route to humanity. I give a great deal of consideration to how I used the words that I own because I respect the power that they yield.
I am many things to many people and I will share some of these stories throughout my blogs. Today I would like to tell you a little bit about how I came to choose a career nursing. Prior to the birth of my first daughter I worked in the corporate world as a middle level manager. I have always been a strong communicator and this made me a good manager. It didn’t however make me a nice person. It’s hard to admit when we don’t like who we are, but when I spent time on maternity following the birth of my third daughter I had time to reflect and honestly, I didn’t like myself at all. I used my gift of communication to ‘Get the job done’, the jobs that no one else liked doing. I had become a vessel for the bullets that the company wished to fire. For a firm that looking back saw me only as a number.
Whilst I reflected on what I didn’t like, I pondered on what I should do and somehow I found the courage to re-entered education. Nursing was not my original choice. I started my academic life as a student Therapy Radiographer. A very important role with so much value, I had decided that I didn’t have the emotional resilience or qualities that nurses did? I was scientific!
I had a very clear idea of my strengths and personal care was not amongst them. Yet in reality when I got to a radiography placement something very strange happened to me. You see, there were these people and these people to my shock were made up of more than CT scans, they were more than treatment areas. They were patients. But more specifically, they were lives, complexed personalities and I loved being around them. Previously I had been excited at the thought of playing with multi-million pounds’ worth of equipment, but I was starting to feel a shift within myself. I was drawn towards holism and its pull was nothing at all to do with the binding energy of electrons that I was being lectured in.
One day I was informed that a patient was arriving to be prepared for treatment who was extremely unwell. The radiographers explained that this lady had a fungating wound on her breast, they explained it was an important ‘learning opportunity’. As the patient arrived she was FULL of smiles. I will remember that ladies face as long as I live, her eyes sparkled. I had prepared myself for what I might see visually, however as she removed her clothing, the only thing I noticed was the change in her expression. I immediately saw a look of shame washed over her. Those beautiful eyes shone a little less.
The radiographers planning her treatment treated that lady with the upmost respect. They were a shining example for their profession. Unfortunately, it was necessary that she was exposed. I don’t know why but I knew instinctively what she needed. I talked to her, my tone changed, my eyes locked on hers. I looked everywhere BUT at the source of her shame. When I recognised that she was in pain, I took her hand. When I was asked if I would like to come and observe the procedure I saw her eyes willing me to stay with her, her hand gripping tightly around mine.
“No, I’m Ok thanks”.
I had connected with someone’s needs on a level that I did not think I was capable of.
When the procedure was complete I had so many questions. Who was supporting this lady emotionally? Who was making sure she had everything she needed? The answer was consistently “The nurses”. And then there were questions for me. Why had I not taken advantage of this learning opportunity? Was I scared? I would have to get used to seeing things like this! All guidance given in a supportive manner and questions I asked myself and buried the answers too. Until one day, I stood watching ‘24hrs in A and E’ and I burst into tears. We had given up everything for me to go to university, I had previously out waged my husband. Our life style had changed and our holidays stopped, but the words came out to my husband through sobs “Oh my god, I’m a nurse! I’m so sorry I’m a nurse!” Nursing might come with a degree now, but sometimes it really is just who you are. I am so proud to be a student nurse now. Nursing completes me as a person. I believe strongly that the single most healing aspect of my role is kindness. I practice as a nurse how I live my life. With compassion, empathy, humility and a deep desire to fully understand the others perspective. My role allows me to see the best parts of human nature every day. EVERY single day I see good. Even in places you wouldn’t expect to find it, even in the most challenging time of life, I find beauty in the world. How lucky am I?
So this is me, little girl, big heart. Sending you love and light.