It’s been a while. Just a few short words on where I have been.
This year has been a long one. Challenging to say the least. At the start of the year I began a new role as a Community Staff Nurse in the West Midlands. Despite the hours travelling I enjoyed the role and learned so much. Just a month after starting though I lost my beloved Grandfather, despite being a woman of many words, I have none which can articulate my loss. I am simply devastated.
A short time later my eldest daughter who had type one diabetes began a short period of non-concordance. For her dignity’s sake, I wont elaborate further. I have to afford her the same privacy as my patients and this is not my story to share.
This event did start a chain of events though that made me stop and re-evaluate my priorities. I have always taken pride in being the best Nurse that I can be, throughout my career as a student I excelled and flew beyond my years. I did this with the support of my amazing twitter family, you’ve held me up and boosted my confidence as a qualified practitioner. I can not thank you all enough. The pressure that I put myself under to maintain this came at a price though, I’m a perfectionist and burned out a little trying to be perfect. #itsoknottobeok . But now I had to take stock, what was important?
My daughters needed me closer to home. I needed to priorities them and myself. None of us will ever be under the illusion that when our lives become turbulent, that the NHS prioritises our needs. So for once I put my needs at the top of the pile.
Whilst working my notice I found myself on the other side of the fence, I became a patient, Oh and I was not a good one! I’d planned my care and discharge before I arrived in the ambulance. I won’t divulge details but wow it was comedy sketch embarrassing (I’m blushing a little recalling it).
I applied for and went on to accept the position as a nurse in Cardiac Surgery. It’s been amazing and I’m privileged to work with such highly skilled professionals. They have turned my year around. Although I’m still having daily attacks of self doubt, I’m getting there. I think my sparkle might just be coming back.
The last leg of this journey has taken me to Thailand with my partner. I feel like I’ve finally starting to recover.
So, I’m back. I’m ready to re-connect, ready to start building and ready to refocus. Thankfully with a more healthy work life balance and some renewed perspective.
I hope you’re all well? I’ve missed you
Love and light x